MIXEDESTHAA'S DORM ROOM

get a phone call from cousin in law. find out more bullshit about soon to be ex hubby. tears swell up in eyes. bite lip to fight it. must be strong. don’t need to cry for someone who is a waste of time, waste of life.

run to break room. first thing in site: oatmeal raisin cookies. grab 2. eat them. grab one more. eat it. tears swell up. bite lip again. swallow rest of cookie in mouth. run to locker room. change clothes. talk shit about ex hubby to co-worker. run to gym. look at myself in mirror. feel disgusted. face red. nostrils flare. see people in gym playing volleyball. quickly wave.

run downstairs to cardio. put speed on 8 and start sprinting my butt off. pull glute muscle. shit that hurts. slow it down and do 5 sets of HIIT on treadmill. go back upstairs to refill water bottle. look in mirror. still disgusted. pissed the hell off. face red. nostrils flare. tears swell up. sweat drip. drip. drip.

I tell myself, " for everything bad that I eat, he is one step closer to looking his best! for every time I slack off in the gym, he is one step closer to being more fit than me."

run back downstairs. do another HIIT session on elliptical.

cool down with some yoga and stretching. hugging knees to my chest I start thinking of everything positive in life that I have to look forward to. next time, relieve stress with workout, not oatmeal cookies…deep breath in… feel a little more calm..

namaste…