DEBRA'S DORM ROOM

Well, I'm a little under two weeks from Team U and I am really excited about this show. I'm not really focused on my placing but just about going out there and having fun. I read a post from Cindy Martinez and in it, she said that she was not going to focus on who was showing up, just going to do her best. That really inspired me. I realized that when I first started competing, my goal was to boost my confidence and to get in the best shape I could. Somewhere down the line, that changed. I was no longer competing for me... I suddenly became competitive... and I have to admit... a little negative. I realized that I was no longer having fun. It was a competition!

Well let me tell you, it was also in that "competitive state" that I was taken off of my game! The thing that had one time given me confidence in myself was the same thing that was tearing it down. I had to take some time and reflect and think about why I decided to "compete" in the first place. I had to get back to me. My friend (and fellow competitor) Jennifer De Joya said, "There's no I in team, but there's and "I" in figure." Meaning, at the end of the day, it's about ME! I have to be alright with ME. No one can give me confidence (or take it away) unless I let them. No one can tell me if I look good or if I'm good enough. It has to come from me.

So now, I'm just focusing on being the best ME for ME that I can be. I'm having fun again. My prep has been going good and I feel great. I may or may not look good enough for the judges, but I am so happy with the improvements I've made so I really can't ask for anything more (except for a NY style cheesecake with strawberries and whipped cream after the show!).